Dads suffer Postnatal Depression

News today that the Medical Research Council has found that one in five men become depressed after the birth of a baby should hardly come as a surprise. Having a new baby is a life-changing event and although all the attention often goes straight to mother and child, the poor father's life and sleep routine are just as much affected. But so is his relationship with the mother; this is an area too little talked about, it seems to me. When two become three obviously huge change results. We go on about how likely it is for a first child to be jealous of a second.....but why do we never mention how possible it is for father to be jealous of a baby? After all, suddenly he has to share his wife with the new baby and compete for attention. And so much focus is put on to the newborn in those early days, that Dads can often feel squeezed out. Nights can be disrupted, and couples often find little time for themselves. But it's really important for any father who feels that more is going on than just a change of mood; real depression can be serious and needs treating. So Dad's should be encouraged to be open about their feelings in this situation before
it's too late.

How I hate the Daily Mail

It's been fun watching the Daily Mail getting itself into a fankle over the new coalition government. It was so easy for them before - being able to go after the Labour government on any and every issue. Now they don't know which way to turn - and for a serial Daily Mail hater this can only be good news. I look at it from time to time online, purely to see what outrageous new campaigns they're involved in. And every time I come away thinking how can they be so two-faced? They're supposed to be a paper favoured by women but they are so very anti women. Every woman featured is either to fat or too thin - see the story on Ulrika Jonsson today: (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1288670/Ulrika-Jonsson-looks-shadow-self-moves-home.html

showing too much leg or not enough, frumpy or over glamorous. Someone who they once judged fat only has to lose a little weight and suddenly she's a cause for concern. And most women are only in the newspaper because of how they look or what they wear. What I don't understand is why women don't revolt and simply give the newspaper a wide berth until it stops being lookist, ageist
and sexist.

Be Careful What you Wish For!

We used to say ‘be careful what you wish for’ of Gordon Brown. Now we can say it of Nick Clegg. What an excruciatingly difficult place he finds himself in right now. What pleases me, though, is that we do seem to have entered an era (ushered in by him, most likely) of more touchy-feely politics. Politicians are currently having to look closely at themselves and their own entrenched views to decide what really matters. They’re having to look each other in the eye across tables and try to judge just how far the other side may go. They’re all desperately trying to read each others’ signals, and this is where someone with any degree of emotional intelligence will score over the rest. This was where poor Gordon Brown was lacking. Nick Clegg, in the way he listens and hears other points of view has demonstrated himself capable of empathy. And Peter Mandelson has always been able to read a situation and act instinctively. So perhaps there’s a clue in here to the way forward?

Mums of sons - where have we gone wrong?

It seems to me that there’s a crop of Mums who currently have a lot to answer for.

Who brought up Vernon Kay, for instance, to disrespect women to such a degree that he felt it was OK to sex text 5 women whilst a married man and father of two?
And what about Tiger Woods’ mother, or John Terry’s? What kind of messages did they impart to their sons about how to treat women, and wives in particular?
And think about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross. What seemed to outrage most people about that sorry saga was the message left on Andrew Sach’s answer-phone. What outraged me, though, was that two grown men felt free to discuss publicly - on the radio! - a private sexual experience......with apparently no thought to what the woman involved would feel, and without allowing her any say in it.
It bothers me that the mothers of these men are likely to be from a generation of women who had to fight for their rights - for equal pay and equal opportunity. And yet they’ve bred a generation of men who not only have no notion of equality but instead treat their partners like chattels and objectify the rest.
This is a generalisation, I know, but I’d love to know what these mothers were up to. Surely it’s incumbent on women when bringing up sons to encourage them to treat women with respect and to do nothing that demeans them?

Brangelina

The whole Brad and Angelina thing makes me sick. When will celebrities learn that marriage and relationships take work? That if you make a big deal about how 'in love' you are at the start of the affair, then for the rest of our sakes, you should invest some time and effort into making it last. What is particularly galling is their decision to involve so many children in their pathetic attempts at creating a 'perfect' family, 6 children who will now have to suffer through the divorce - and being passed around between the parents forever more.
Recipe for more mixed-up kids in a nutshell......!

Haiti Earthquake

Journalists getting in......but Aid isn't. What a messed up world.

Swish Family Robinson

The suggestion that Iris Robinson is receiving 'acute psychiatric treatment' intrigues me. I know counselling and psychotherapy are used at the drop of a hat nowadays....but I don't see how anyone can be 'treated' for her condition. It sounds much more likely that she's hiding away from the world, unable to face up to the consequences of her actions, and - more importantly - probably unable to face herself, to look herself in the mirror and accept the ramifications of what she's been up to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoKjTST0HeI





After all, we are usually our own best/worst critics; we know when we've really stuffed up and the pain of shame and guilt can feel unbearable. Counselling can certainly help later to explore what caused us to behave in certain ways, but there's no treatment that will work as a quick fix to make us feel better about ourselves in the immediate aftermath of such an affair. We simply need to go through the bad feelings, to experience them , to hit rock bottom, to hate ourselves for what we've done and for those we've hurt. We need to endure the shame and the guilt and the humiliation. It's only by recognising those feelings, not avoiding them, that we can learn eventually to accept that we're not all bad, that our remorse is evidence of that, and that we can grow and learn from our mistakes and become a better person as a result of lessons learned.

Talking always helps, so I guess Iris Robinson may need someone to act as a sounding-board, to help her through all this. But ultimately it sounds as if she just made some silly mistakes, born out of greed or power or lust and it's up to her now to accept this about herself and try to change.